Is a lack of confidence stopping you from reaching your potential? Do you avoid certain situations because you think you will make a fool of yourself? Are there areas in life which you would love to change but fear is holding you back? Do you listen to that small but persistent voice telling you you're not good enough or skilled enough to achieve your true desires?
I know how it can feel to be quite happy staying in your comfort zone, dealing with life on a daily basis but not fully engaged. You know that you would love it to be different, but you are sure that you don't have the skill, the experience, the confidence to start making the changes for which you secretly long. After all, a comfort zone is exactly that, isn't it? It's easy to ignore that vague niggling thought that hints that life could be better, choosing instead to concentrate on every day duties - taking care of your family, juggling work/life balance, rushing the kids to various activities. A glass or two of wine at night to help you unwind and make sure that you don't have enough time to examine your current reality and plan a future that is more exciting and fulfilling.
Do you recognise this picture? If so, take a moment to to ask yourself what this lack of confidence might be costing you. How will you feel at the end of 2017 when another year has passed and you are still not fulfilling your potential? What about 10 years' time when the kids have gone, you don't have that focus to fill your days... what will you look in the mirror and tell yourself then? And again... what happens when you are retiring and look back at your years spent in that cosy comfort zone, wishing you had the confidence to change things? What will you be feeling then? What regrets will you eventually admit to having?
The great news is that you don't have to live that life. The first step is the honest acknowledgement that you would like more from life. It's not selfish to take time out for yourself and work towards a personal goal. Quite the opposite - if you are happy and fulfilled, those closest to you will really benefit from the extra energy and positivity you are exuding. There are loads of ways of helping with confidence, and once you decide to start on the journey you will be amazed at how quickly you can see improvements.
If there is one event that is scaring you, visualisation is a brilliant method of combating that fear. Often when we are lacking in confidence, we start catastrophising (yes, it's a word!) - we repeatedly play out the worst possible case scenario in our imaginations. That triggers a whole host of internal responses - our breathing changes, our body language changes to reflect how stressed we are feeling and we release stress hormones, all is if we are actually experiencing that event in real life.
Fortunately, we can also harness the power of our imaginations to work for us. So next time you feel yourself getting anxious, work out what stories you are playing in your head. Acknowledge that you are feeling anxious or lacking in confidence and concentrate on deep, slow breathing. If possible, change your physical surroundings - move out of the room, or at least change the way you are sitting to break the pattern of thinking.
Now comes the fun part. Spend some time imagining that same event but see it playing out as you really want it to go. Make your internal film as detailed as you can - what are you seeing? What are you hearing? How are you feeling as everything works out perfectly and you are feeling full of confidence? Pay particular attention to the way you are moving when you are feeling so self assured - where are your shoulders? How are you holding your arms? Are you smiling? What tone of voice are you using? Keep refining the images until you are happy.
Then the trick is to keep up this mental rehearsal as frequently as you can until the time of the event. Our brain does not distinguish between vividly imagined scenarios and real life events. By focusing on feeling confident and generating a brilliant outcome, you will then approach the event with entirely different emotions and you will end up with much better results.
Give it a try and let me know what you think! For more help with confidence, get in touch to arrange your initial ignite session. This in-depth 90 minute session is charged at a reduced rate of £40. Subsequent hour long sessions are £70.